Don't Do Sadness
by Disenchanted013
Summary: Young Moritz Stiefel finds himself standing by the riverbank with nowhere left to turn, when his old friend Ilse Neumann shows up and offers him another chance. This is what would have happened if he had gone with Ilse.
1. Prologue

**A/N: So, this is just what would have happened if Moritz had said 'yes' to Ilse instead of lying about Virgil homework (Oh, Moritz . . .), mostly because I thought it would be interesting to see how his life would have turned out . . . and Moritz and Ilse would have made an adorable couple, but that's the less important reason . . . **

**Some has the dialogue has changed between Moritz and Ilse, because I didn't want to copy directly from the play, and I kind of forgot most of it anyways. Heheh . . . So, anyways, ENJOY!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do NOT own Spring Awakening . . . . yet D**

Moritz stood at the edge of the riverbank and gently pulled the gun from his pocket. He knew he should have passed – he had seen the test results himself – there must have been a mistake. But that didn't matter right now. He had failed the exams and shamed his father. He had nowhere else to go, and it was getting late. He'd have to make his decision soon. He stared at the cold gun he held in his hands. It would be so easy to end it all – the hurt, the failure, those God-awful dreams. All he had to do was take a deep breath and . . .

"Moritz? Moritz Stiefel?" came a voice from behind him. Moritz whipped around and quickly hid the gun back in his pocket. In front of him stood a girl about his age with mousy brown hair and a short, somewhat straggly dress.

"Ilse Neumann?" he asked. She laughed.

"I thought it was you! How have you been?" she asked enthusiastically.

"Oh, um, fine, I guess. How about you?"

"I've been traveling around with a group of artists. It's great. I mean, I got into a bit of trouble awhile back, but that's over and done with now."

"Oh, well, that's good," Moritz said, a bit nervously.

"You know," said Ilse slyly, a suggestive smirk slowly crawling across her face. "I remember when we were kids and we would play pirates out back behind my house – Wendla Bergman, Melchior Gabor, you, and me. We could play pirates again if you want – just the two of us." Moritz panicked; he didn't know what to say. He wanted to go with her, yet . . .

"Well, I don't think I can. I still have equations I need to solve, Virgil to translate . . . I think I'd better head home and get started."

"Oh," Ilse said, her face falling. "Okay." She looked hurt by his refusal, and Moritz felt guilty. She turned to leave and he panicked. He didn't want her to leave. _For God's sake_, he thought. _All you had to do was say 'yes.'_

"Ilse, wait!" he called. She turned back to him, a look of hope in her eyes. "I- I'd like to come with you." A sly smile crossed her face once more before taking his hand and leading him off.

**A/N: Reviews would be appreciated! More chapters are in progress!**


	2. Playing Pirates

**A/N: So, this chapter introduces the use of one of my personally favorite words: Scheisse. It's German for shit. And I figured, since they're in Germany, I could get away with using it in this fic ;)**

**There **_**is**_** gonna be some major fluff in this chapter, just to let you know.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Spring Awakening, unfortunately . . .**

Moritz remembered when they would play pirates as little kids. Melchior would be the Captain, running around with his fake hook hand and big pirate hat, and Wendla would play his wife. Even back then they were a perfect match. Moritz would be the eyepatch-bearing First Mate, and Ilse would be the adventurous crew member. She was usually the one who came up with their adventures. She was as adventurous and wild as she is now; Moritz, much like he is now, was a bit shy. He admired how brave Ilse was. He wasn't sure when that admiration turned into infatuation, but it did.

Then, one day, when they were all heading home for supper, she hurriedly kissed his cheek and ran off. Moritz blushed wildly and ran off to his own house. She continued this as her usual goodbye to him for weeks, months even, until they decided they too old to play pirates the way they used to. But she'd still smile and wave whenever she saw him, and he would smile and wave back. They would talk, and have actual conversations; Moritz still felt the same way about her as he had when they were kids. Ilse still had the same free spirit as when they were little, but there was something different about her now. There was hurt behind her eyes. Moritz asked her about it, but she wouldn't say what was wrong. But he knew it was why she left.

The last day he had seen her, she seemed worse than ever. He kept asking her until she finally broke down crying. He held her while she told him what had been going on at her house, something she had never told anyone else before. He promised he would do everything he could to help her, but she just shook her head and said that she had a plan already. She turned to go, but then hesitantly turned back and kissed him on the cheek goodbye one last time before running off. It had turned out that her plan was to run away from home, leave her old life behind. She would still stop in town occasionally to see Wendla and some of the other girls, but Moritz never got to see her when she did. He never stopped caring about her though.

* * *

The funny thing is, out by the river he had been thinking about her, and how she left. She seemed to be doing alright – always happy and, more importantly, still alive. He had wondered if he would be able to make it too. Then, sure enough, there she was, coming to his rescue. Coming to show him that he could, and, damn it, he _would_, be able to survive and be happy.

She led him to an old, abandoned barn they had played in when they were kids – their secret pirate hideout, where they would sneak off when their parents weren't looking to plan adventures and hide their various 'treasures' (old coins, tin soldiers, etc). Seeing the slight look of nostalgia cross his face, Ilse explained.

"The place where I used to stay is pretty far away from town. So, when I came back, I moved in here." She opened the large barn doors, grabbed a lantern that hung on a hook by the door, and, lighting the lantern, led him inside. The barn looked the same as it had when they were younger – the same dusty windows that let in dim sunlight, shelves littered with little trinkets. By one wall, Moritz saw a couple of blankets spread out over a layer of hay on the floor – Ilse's makeshift bed. "Home, sweet home," she whispered, mostly to herself.

"So, how long have you been back?" Moritz asked her. She shrugged.

"About a month."

"Really, that long? I never see you around."

"Well, I've been keeping to myself, mostly. I've some time with Wendla and Thea and the other girls, but other than that I've been sort of . . . alone." They stood awkwardly for a moment or two, before Ilse cleared her throat and said, "So, what have you been up to?"

He shrugged. "Nothing nearly as interesting as you've been." He knew he'd regret the words as soon as they left his mouth, but for some reason, he couldn't stop himself from saying, "You know, it's funny. I was thinking about you right before you showed up." _Scheisse,_ he thought. _Why did I tell her that?_

"Really?" she asked. He couldn't read the expression on her face, but he was worried about what she thought of that. "Well, what do you know? I guess you summoned me."

"Well, if that were true, you would have shown up before. I've thought about you a lot after you left." _Shit,shit,shit,_ he thought. _That was bad. Why would I tell her something like that?_

"Y- You have?" she asked him. Moritz didn't want to say anything, he was too embarrassed, but she was waiting for an answer.

"Well, I . . . yes. I have," he admitted, his face starting to turn red.

"Well, you know," she started, "I've . . . thought about you, too." Her face was starting to turn red, as well.

"Really?" he asked, feeling slightly less embarrassed.

"Well, yeah," she told him. "Over at the Priapia, when everyone else would be asleep, I'd sit awake and think about all my old friends . . . especially you."

Moritz didn't know what he should say to that, so he just asked, "Do you have trouble sleeping?"

Ilse hesitated a bit, then said, a bit uneasily, "I'm not very comfortable in the dark." Moritz just nodded. He understood what she meant. They sat in silence for a few moments, then Moritz cleared his throat.

"So . . . what specifically did you think about?" he asked her. She laughed lightly.

"Oh, nothing," she said. "Just how we would always play pirates together when we were little, and how much fun we had. I remember I always felt so comfortable and safe when I was with you, kind of like I belonged there. I really miss that, you know?"

"Yeah, so do I." He looked at her. "How come you never come to see me when you visit?" he questioned.

"I . . . don't know. I guess I just didn't think you'd want to see me," she said, and he could tell by the look in her eyes that she truly believed he wouldn't.

"I'll always want to see you," he told her. Then she kissed him, and not on the cheek this time, but right on the lips. He had always wanted this to happen, but he never knew just how happy it would make him for it to actually happen. He never really realized how much he wanted this before, but he knew that she was the one. He loved her, he always had, and he always would.

**A/N: Aw, how cute . . . Reviews, anyone?**


	3. All I Wanted

**A/N: This chapter is going to seem slightly repetitive, sorry about that. This is just a look into Ilse's feelings. Some more Moritz/Ilse fluff.**

**Disclaimer: Still don't own anything**

She hadn't seen him since she left. Mostly on purpose. She had made a fool of herself the last time they talked, crying and blubbering like an idiot. And then she kissed him. It was only on the cheek, but it was still a kiss, and they weren't little kids anymore, it wasn't the same 'endearing' and 'cute' goodbye it had been when they were six. It was embarrassing. She had, in short, made herself look like a fool, made him _extremely_ uncomfortable, kissed him, and run off. There was no way she could ever face him again.

But that didn't mean she didn't care about him. She didn't actually see him when she visited, but she would at least check up on him.

"How's Moritz?" she would ask Wendla, trying (and somewhat failing) to sound casual. Wendla would shrug.

"He seems fine. We don't really talk that much. You could ask Melchior, he should know. Or you could talk to Moritz." Ilse recently stopped asking Wendla about Moritz; she was starting to catch on.

She continued to avoid seeing him, until one day she saw him standing on the riverbank, all alone. She was about to turn and walk away, but something stopped her. She looked back at him and could tell that something was wrong. She couldn't leave him there, not after he helped her when she needed it. She took a few deep breaths and walked forward.

"Moritz? Moritz Stiefel?" she asked, as if she didn't recognize him. He whipped around to face her and she saw him stuff something into his jacket pocket.

"Ilse Neumann?" he asked. She smiled and laughed before she could stop herself. He remembered her.

"I thought it was you! How have you been?"

"Um, fine, I guess," he answered, rather nervously. _Oh, God,_ she thought. _I'm already freaking him out._ "How about you?" he asked her.

"I've been traveling around with a group of artists. It's great. I mean, I got into a bit of trouble awhile back, but that's over and done with now." _Way to go. Tell him you're a delinquent. _That_ will _definitely_ make him want you._

"Oh, well, that's good," he told her. She could tell how uncomfortable he was and she felt like she should go, but now that she was with him she didn't want to leave.

You know," she began, "I remember when we were kids and we would play pirates out back behind my house – Wendla Bergman, Melchior Gabor, you, and me." Then, before she could stop herself, she blurted, "We could play pirates again, if you want – just you and me." _Scheisse, why did I say that?_

"Well, I don't think I can," he began, then went on making some excuse about homework.

"Oh, okay." It was clear he didn't want her there. She'd made a fool of herself again, even worse than before this time. She turned to go.

"Ilse, wait!" she heard him call. She turned to face him, filled with hope. Maybe he did want her after all. "I- I'd like to come with you," he said. She smiled, grabbed his hand, and led him off into the woods. She brought him to the barn that she was staying in, the same one where they had played pirates as little kids, and led him inside.

"So, how long have you been back?" he asked her.

She shrugged and answered, "About a month."

"Really, that long? I never see you around."

_That's because I've been avoiding you,_ she thought. "Well, I've been keeping to myself, mostly," she said. And it wasn't necessarily untrue. She'd still visit Wendla from time to time, but she mostly kept to herself. Especially during the day, when Wendla was at school. She would talk to the other girls, too, but mostly only when she was with Wendla, and they always seemed slightly uncomfortable. "So, what have you been up to?" she asked him. He shrugged.

"Nothing nearly as interesting as you've been," he told her. "You know, it's funny. I was thinking about you right before you showed up."

"Really?" she asked him. He was thinking of her? _Oh, who am I kidding. It doesn't mean anything. He thought of me _one_ time. _"Well, what do you know? I guess you summoned me," she joked.

"Well, if that were true, you would have shown up before. I've thought about you a lot after you left."

"Y- You have?" she asked him. She couldn't believe it. Was it possible he felt the same way as her? That he'd thought of her as often as she had thought of him?

"Well, I . . . yes. I have," he admitted, his face starting to turn red.

"Well, you know," she started, "I've . . . thought about you, too." Her face was starting to turn red, as well.

"Really?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," she told him. "Over at the Priapia, when everyone else would be asleep, I'd sit awake and think about all my old friends . . . especially you." She thought of the Priapia, of Adolar's studio, and her friends she left behind – Nohl, Fehrendorf, Boyokevitch. They were good friends to her, and she missed them all. But there was something missing there. She noticed the most during those sleepless nights, while she sat alone thinking about the life she left at her old home and the friends she missed.

"Do you have trouble sleeping?" Moritz asked her.

Ilse hesitated a bit, then said, a bit uneasily, "I'm not very comfortable in the dark." Moritz nodded his head. He understood what she meant. They sat in silence for a few moments, then Moritz cleared his throat.

"So . . . what specifically did you think about?" he asked her. She laughed lightly.

"Oh, nothing," she said. "Just how we would always play pirates together when we were little, and how much fun we had. I remember I always felt so comfortable and safe when I was with you, kind of like I belonged there. I really miss that, you know?"

"Yeah, so do I." He looked at her. "How come you never come to see me when you visit?" he questioned.

"I . . . don't know. I guess I just didn't think you'd want to see me," she said, remembering how embarrassed she felt when she thought about the last time they saw each other.

"I'll always want to see you," he told her. Just hearing that one sentence made her the happiest she had ever been. She couldn't control herself anymore. She leaned forward and kissed him, and, amazingly enough, he kissed her back. All of her worries and doubts and fears went away; the only thing she could think of was the present, what was happening _right now._ And, God, did she love what was happening.

**A/N: Happy New Year, everybody! How about some reviews?**


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